He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
