Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
His nipple licking is glorious
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