dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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