so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
