Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
