You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Randomize
