Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
