I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
