yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize