Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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