I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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