We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
