people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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