what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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