just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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