so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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