So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
