ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
