Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
