we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize