Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
