Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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