Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
