I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
