Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
