the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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