I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
