it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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