Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
