i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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