You were right. It hurts to walk today.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
40s are totally the cure
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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