If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
