I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
