and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
