Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
