Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize