The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
