I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
