kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
