will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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