Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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