um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
