my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
why do cheetos always look like penises
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just want to make out with him forever
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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