my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
