I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
