You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
