Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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