is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
