all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
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