We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
