FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
