your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
My Higher Power is John Stamos
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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