I'm really into asian looking animals
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Randomize
