I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I got inside last night via doggy door
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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