Your mouth is God's brothel.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
