You made me cry and you don't even care
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
