Even the bartender felt bad for me
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
