She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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