what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize