She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Randomize
