So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
